Before tying the knot, many couples opt for Counselling, which typically involves meeting, with a licensed therapist, counselor or a clergy member who is trained in guiding couples. The counselling sessions may include one on one meetings with each partner as joint sessions where both partners actively participate. The counselling process is structured yet adaptably designed, to address the concerns of each couple.
Here, is an amazing fact on pre marriage counselling that as per Knot’s 2023 Real Weddings report, there were 45% of GenZ and millennial couples who preferred to attend premarital counselling in 2022.
The aim of marriage counselling is to assist couples in establishing a strong foundation for their future together. Below are the objectives of pre marriage counselling;
Who Should Think About Pre Marriage-Counselling
- Every couple getting married: A suggestion for all pairs preparing for marriage.
- Couples with marriages: Important points to consider for individuals with marriages.
- Couples, from faiths or cultures: Dealing with the obstacles encountered by these couples.
- Couples dealing with problems: For those experiencing relationship issues or disagreements.
The Significance of Personal Values, in Marriage
- Defining Personal Values: Personal values refer to the beliefs and moral principles that shape an individual’s actions and choices. These may encompass traits like honesty, integrity, loyalty, respect among others.
- Role in Marriage: Recognizing and respecting each other’s values is pivotal as it impacts aspects of shared life ranging from matters to approaches in raising children. Differences in values can lead to disagreements.
- Self-Exploration: Engaging in pre marriage counselling encourages introspection to pinpoint one’s values, and comprehend the reasons behind holding onto these principles. This self-discovery marks the phase towards harmonizing with a partner.
Here, in this blog, we are going to learn the aspects of pre marriage counselling, covered by online relationship therapist.
Features of Pre Marriage Counselling
Here are mentioned some crucial features to know about pre marriage counselling:
1. Communication Expectations: Good Communication in Marriage
Communication, more or less plays a significant role in every aspect of human life, especially when it comes to marriage as an institute. Therefore, let’s realize why it is important to discuss communication during pre marriage counselling:
Active Listening
Good communication starts with active listening – fully focus, understand, respond, remember what’s being said.
Expressing Needs and Feelings
Partners should feel safe to express their needs and feelings without fear of being judged or dismissed.
Non-Verbal Communication
Recognize and interpret non- verbal cues like body language, facial expressions and tone of voice.
2. Financial Compatibility and Planning: The Importance of Openness and Understanding
Finance plays its own role in building one’s self-esteem. Therefore, it again becomes important to realize its importance during pre marriage counselling:
Open Conversations
One of the most important things in a happy marriage is being able to talk about finances. Pre-marriage counselling encourages couples to have open conversations about their financial situation including income, debts, savings and spending habits.
Trust
Being transparent about finances builds trust. Knowing each other’s financial situation helps in planning and prevents future surprises.
Setting Expectations
Couples should discuss and set expectations around finances. Who will manage the finances? How will bills be split? What are the priorities for spending and saving?
Financial Goals
Sharing individual financial goals and dreams helps to align them to create common financial goals for the future like buying a home, saving for kids education or planning for retirement.
3. Career and Personal Development: Supporting Each Other’s Careers
Supporting each other in building each other’s careers is one of the beauties that can lie in a marriage, therefore, why to skip it while understanding importance of various aspects of marriage, during pre marriage counselling:
Mutual Support
One of the keys to a happy marriage is mutual support for each other’s careers. That means understanding and encouraging each other’s career goals.
Career Planning
Couples should talk about their career plans and timelines, including job changes, further education and career advancement. Knowing each other’s long term career goals helps with planning and decision making.
Sacrifices and Compromises
Sometimes one partner may need to make sacrifices for the other’s career, like relocating for a job or taking on more household responsibilities. We need to discuss and agree on those sacrifices and compromises.
Celebrating Successes
Celebrating each other’s career milestones and successes creates a supportive environment. Acknowledging and encouraging each other can strengthen the bond between us.
Navigating Challenges
Talking about how to handle career related challenges like job stress, career setbacks or work conflicts helps to provide emotional support and find solutions together.
4. Emotional Needs: Understanding and Meeting Each Other’s Emotional Expectations
Be it in-person pre marriage counselling, or pre marriage counselling online, the aspect of addressing each other’s emotional needs forms one part of pre marriage counselling, let’s delve into its understanding in detail:
Emotional Needs
Each person has unique emotional needs, like feeling seen, heard, supported or loved. Pre-marriage counselling helps couples identify and articulate those needs.
Open Communication
Open and honest communication about emotions is key. Couples should feel safe to share their feelings, vulnerabilities and concerns without fear of being judged.
Emotional Validation
Validating each other’s emotions means acknowledging and accepting their feelings as real and important. This creates a supportive and empathetic space.
Emotional Availability
Being emotionally available means being present and attentive to each other’s emotional needs. This means active listening, offering support and comfort during tough times.
Regular Check-ins
Scheduling regular emotional check-ins allows couples to talk about their emotional well-being and address any issues or unmet needs. This keeps the emotional connection and support flowing.
5. Physical Intimacy: Talking About Sex Expectations and Needs
Online counseling services like Virtual Peace of Mind ensures that a session on physical intimacy is included in pre marriage counselling, let’s delve into the details of it:
Open Sex Talk
Couples should have open and respectful conversations about sex. This helps you understand each other’s needs and have a healthy sex life.
Sexual Compatibility
Sexual compatibility is important. This means frequency of sex, preferences and any sex related concerns or insecurities.
Exploring Together
Exploring and discovering what gives each other pleasure and satisfaction can increase intimacy. This means being open to trying new things and respecting each other’s boundaries.
Addressing Issues
If there are sex issues like mismatched libidos or sexual dysfunction, couples should address them openly and if needed seek help from a professional.
Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is not just sex. Regular physical touch like hugging, kissing and holding hands helps in keeping you close and loving.
6. Setting Realistic and Achievable Expectations
Online therapy sessions of Virtual Peace of Mind also incudes a session on how to set realistic and achievable expectations in marriage:
Reality Check
No relationship is perfect. Discuss and acknowledge that there will be ups and downs to set realistic expectations.
The ‘Perfect Partner’ Myth
Unrealistic expectations often come from idealized ideas of a ‘perfect partner’. Couples should accept and appreciate each other’s flaws and imperfections.
Practical Goals
Realistic expectations mean setting practical and achievable goals. For example, expecting a partner to always be in a good mood is unrealistic, but expecting open communication about feelings is achievable.
Daily Life Expectations
Couples should discuss and agree on daily life expectations – household responsibilities, financial management, social life. This will avoid disappointments and conflicts.
External Influences
Societal pressures, media portrayals, cultural norms can create unrealistic expectations. Couples should recognize these and focus on what works for their relationship.
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